PTL

started a blogger that allowed other believers to write out what they Praise the Lord for, especially those days when things don't go their way...started in 2009 and now it's 2012...

I think I'm going to start writing on this blog again.

http://pthelord.blogspot.com/

4 1/2 years...

...well almost is how long I've quit my job of 10 years and started a new "job" of raising my children and taking care of my family at home.  It's been an interesting journey I must say.  I guess you can say a little bit of depression...why?  Well it was a huge change for me; I've always worked, well since I entered college and honestly I enjoyed working...waking up not so much...but the interaction with people and just doing something outside of the house was extremely nice.  Then all of a sudden, okay 9 months later, it all ends.  I guess I never fully contemplated staying at home before I stayed at home.  Taking care of my first child who is now 4.5 years old was extremely difficult and challenging.  I had to learn a lot of things...and learning how to be a wife didn't help as well.  I found myself praying...A LOT and just crying out to God.  Living in Anaheim was hard too because a lot of our friends lived about 30 minutes away and when they said they would visit, they didn't so I became very lonely and distant towards everyone.  So let's just say it's been a very adventurous 4.5 years of figuring out the whole "being a mom" "being a wife" and also "being at home."

So what can I say about being a stay at home mom and a wife to the most adorable man alive!! God is gracious!! Completely gracious and all the time gracious! Even when I'm sooo unfaithful and doubting His goodness, He continues to show me how much He's awesome and how much I need Him. Around January I was getting my nails done when the lady asked me "so would you rather be at home or at work?" I was first giving reason why I stay at home then she said, "no no forget those, what would you rather be doing, going to work or being at home?"  And surprisingly I said "staying at home." I was like wow I can't believe I just said that...that's just amazing! God has truly changed my heart, changed my desire and now I'm glad I stay at home with my girls even though they give me white hair and make me lose my voice!  It's really interesting to see how He works in His children's lives.

Spoiled

Sometimes I meet some adults who act like kids still...whining when they don't get what they want.  And it makes me wonder...how in the world did they get that way.  Of course their sinful nature plays a lot into their sinful behaviors but I think how they grew up played a big part of it because it allowed their sinful attitude and behavior of selfishness grow and grow throughout their lives.  I think about my kids...will they grow up to become those spoiled brat adults.  They whine now and get angry when they don't get what they want...but come on they are 4 and 2.  Not to say it's okay but it's the parents responsibility to mold them and help them change and not become those spoiled adults.

Just because God has blessed us financially doesn't mean I should give my kids everything they want.  I must admit I love giving them gifts...but lately I've been seeing their ungrateful hearts when they do get something and their selfishness when they do not get it.  God has been showing me how my kids can turn out to become if we, as their parents, do not try to change their behavior.  I hate dealing with spoiled adults...it's ugly and nasty, and honestly I do not respect them.  And I don't want my kids to turn out that way.

Insomnia

Once again it has hit me. It's 2:18am and I'm awake. I lie in bed closing my eyes but I can't sleep. In high school I didn't mind it, in college it annoyed me, and when I worked I thought it was going away. And it did for some time. But now that I'm a stay at home mom with two toddlers, it scares me.

I know my lack of sleep affects how I treat my kids the next day. And lately since I've been having insomnia I find myself praying...begging for grace to love my family because I could be very short tempered. It's very humbling though because I know I'm so dependent on His grace to help me love and serve my family. So I guess insomnia is not too. As when I think about it that way. Because when at the end of the day I look back and see how I was able to serve and truly love them the way Christ calls me too...then I know all glory goes to Him because it wasn't me at all that enabled me to do that.

--
We must hate sin as much as God hates sin (killing His own Son).  So we must make those radical decisions to kill sin!!

I take a lot of things...

for granted.  I think for the past couple of years my life hasn't been where it should be.  I find myself just watching my life but not really engaging in my life (does that make sense).  There are so many things that I know are blessings that the Lord has given me that I completely do not deserve but yet I do not appreciate it.  God gives me little reminders on how much I have and at those moments of remembrance I am thankful...and then it disappears...vanishes like vapor.  Then I go back to how I've been for a while.

Simple things in life

I don't really like wearing jewelry for many reasons...well (1) I might lose it - very surprised I still have my wedding ring with me and (2) I think it's a big hassle putting them on and taking them off.  I guess you can say I'm a simple girl.  It's so interesting how my children are sometimes like me and most of the time not like me.  For instance both girls love wearing accessories -- not hair clips but that's another blog.  They have many jewelry boxes, always tries to wear a least 5 (referring to my older one) and loves to be shall I say "bling bling."

Many times people would ask, "how did they get this way, you're not girlie?" Usually I would point to my sister who likes all those things but the more I think about it the more I'm realizing that they are two little individuals who are growing into their personality.  They are not "little me" but two different people created in the image of God.  I tend to forget that importantly reality...they are image bearers of God who are sinners.

Parenting is difficult, but it is more difficult when you forget the simple facts of who our children are.  They are sinners but also they were created in God's image and we should love them and treat them with respect.  We are all sinners, we all need redemption, we all need a Savior...so technically we are all on the equal plain.  So why do we parents try to be above them, belittle them, or humiliate them?

Oh it's so difficult to remember this because we as parents are sinful too and need grace.  Oh Lord give me grace to remember this.

Here's an article regarding what I wrote about but goes more into it: ARTICLE

BTW I really like this necklace...hee hee

 It's simple and really cute.  It's from The Vintage Pearl...here's their website if you want to look for other really cool necklaces.

Lack of Patience

Lately I've been really short with my kids.  At one time I told my older daughter, "I have no patience for you."  Once I said that I was like wow, what if God said that too me.  I sadly realized that I was not reflecting to my daughters who God is and how much He loves us.  Yes they are rebellious, but how can I expect anything other than rebellious -- they are sinners who need a Savior and who have NOT been regenerated.  Why do I expect obedience...only By God's grace they can obey.

Then I am humbled because I sin every day against God and He is very very patient with me and loves me by showing me loving discipline.  I need God's grace to obey as well, even though I have been regenerated through the Holy Spirit because of the blood of Jesus.  Oh how much I fall...I want to show my children their need of a Savior as well, I want them to see that they need Jesus because of their sinfulness, and I want them to see Jesus through my actions and words towards them.

Lord give us grace!!