4 1/2 years...

...well almost is how long I've quit my job of 10 years and started a new "job" of raising my children and taking care of my family at home.  It's been an interesting journey I must say.  I guess you can say a little bit of depression...why?  Well it was a huge change for me; I've always worked, well since I entered college and honestly I enjoyed working...waking up not so much...but the interaction with people and just doing something outside of the house was extremely nice.  Then all of a sudden, okay 9 months later, it all ends.  I guess I never fully contemplated staying at home before I stayed at home.  Taking care of my first child who is now 4.5 years old was extremely difficult and challenging.  I had to learn a lot of things...and learning how to be a wife didn't help as well.  I found myself praying...A LOT and just crying out to God.  Living in Anaheim was hard too because a lot of our friends lived about 30 minutes away and when they said they would visit, they didn't so I became very lonely and distant towards everyone.  So let's just say it's been a very adventurous 4.5 years of figuring out the whole "being a mom" "being a wife" and also "being at home."

So what can I say about being a stay at home mom and a wife to the most adorable man alive!! God is gracious!! Completely gracious and all the time gracious! Even when I'm sooo unfaithful and doubting His goodness, He continues to show me how much He's awesome and how much I need Him. Around January I was getting my nails done when the lady asked me "so would you rather be at home or at work?" I was first giving reason why I stay at home then she said, "no no forget those, what would you rather be doing, going to work or being at home?"  And surprisingly I said "staying at home." I was like wow I can't believe I just said that...that's just amazing! God has truly changed my heart, changed my desire and now I'm glad I stay at home with my girls even though they give me white hair and make me lose my voice!  It's really interesting to see how He works in His children's lives.