Friday, January 17, 2014

Sacrifice

 My birthday is tomorrow, it's strange to think I'm going to turn 35. Honestly when I was in HS I thought I would have this big career that would define me as an adult. But I'm not in a career that many people think is prestigious. I have a college degree, I'm getting my masters and I did have plans for my career. I wanted to be a Marriage & Family Therpist. For six months I worked at a school counselor thinking that it was a stepping stone to something more. Then there was a game changer...

My daughter was born. My life changed, my decisions changed. Some may say it was a sacrifice I made for my family...put my career on hold for my family...but honestly I can say it wasn't a sacrifice but pure joy. I'm not going to lie it's been difficult. Especially the first year of not working and not fully pursuing my masters but it wasn't a regret. 

It's hard though, living in a society that a family comes second after your career. Although some ppl may say "good for you" or "being a stay-at-mom is hard so I applause you" I still have this feeling that although they say things they would never change their lives to do it. It's not the most desired position.  You don't get paid doing it and you never have a break. You never have sick days or raises. Your job follows you everywhere. 

Many times I have hated the fact I'm home. I don't have regular conversations with adults and my major problems I deal with are tantrums. When I eat out with ppl my age who are in their careers I feel like I'm wasting my life. 

But then I look into my daughters eyes and I remember every moment in their lives. Every milestone that they ever did I witnessed. I'm one of the privileged ones. The ones that was able to stay home. I was able to raise my girls without worry. I'm able to fully know them and although it's super super difficult at times and there's no break, it's worth it. It is a sacrifice according to this society, but actually it's a blessing beyond words. 
 

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