Going back

In 9 days my family will be heading back to where it all started for our family.  We have been anticipating this day ever since we moved here, but now I'm finding myself a bit anxious for the whole trip.  I'm excited to see my friends and family, I'm excited to worship Sunday mornings with my church of 3 decades, and I'm excited for all the quality times I will have with my favorite people.  So why do I have anxiety about this trip?  I know I'm going to enjoy it and love every minute of it.  I get to snuggle with my nephews and nieces, and my kids get to see all their friends again.  But that's the problem...what if I enjoy it so much that it's going to be hard to leave again? 

It's been almost 5 months since we left and we are all unpacked.  The house is all decorated, especially for Christmas, and we have settled pretty well.  We are part of a church family and have met amazing people which has allowed the transition to go smoothly.  And although it's still hard sometimes being up here and I still tell Caleb "let's move back," I can say that I'm finally feeling "ok" here.  So I fear that going back will cause me to be discontent all over again. 

I have so many emotions going on to be honest.  I have these thoughts in my head.  Obviously I won't know what's going to happen once we are there but no matter what happens I know this trip is not a wasted trip nor is it unplanned.  I know that the Lord is going to use this trip to grow us and to help us to be more like Jesus.  To help us love Jesus more and to point others to Jesus.