Judy

Dear Judy,

19 years ago I said good bye to you, well actually see you later.  That evening changed my life forever, and I still vividly remember when I found out you left us.  I couldn't comprehend what was going on and how to process the whole situation, but I regret not going to the hospital with everyone to cry with everyone.  I didn't know how to internalized how to feel, how to trust in the Lord in the midst of so much pain.  God blessed me with your life and I'm so sad that I never told you.  You were the first little girl that I "walked and talked" and just invested my time to get to know you.  Not because it was a duty but it was a pleasure.  I miss you.  I still get very emotional thinking about you.  I can still hear your voice, see your smile, and hear your laughs.  Your life changed me in so many ways than I can express.  It was so hard that quarter in college, I couldn't think or concentrate.  I was a zombie just trying to wrap the whole thing, why it happened, what to do afterwards, how to help other girls.  I'm sorry that I never took you to that Jaci Valasquez concert I told you I would take you too.  I'm sorry that I never came over to your house because I made myself so busy with school and work.  I'm sorry I didn't stay with you that morning you got sick during service, I didn't know that was the last time I was going to see you.  My heart broke that night when Joel told me that you are with the Lord.  My heart broke when I saw all the girls at church crying and not knowing how to comprehend everything too because many of them were young. 

But through this I saw the need to be there for the young girls and started to invest in their lives too.  God used my heart breaking to show me the need that He wanted me to serve.  I will never forget you and I'm sorry it took 19 years for me write this.  Maybe it's because now my oldest daughter is the same age as you were when you left me so I've been thinking about you more this year more than other years.  The Lord blessed me with the years of having you in my life and although I miss you I know I'm going to see you again.  Thank you for changing me forever!!

Love always,
Ate Geneyem