I look around my house and all I see is a mess. Toys everywhere, dishes is in the sink, clothes in the hamper ready to be folded and put away. I can stand in the middle of my living room and get so overwhelmed with all the "to do" things that's adding to my list. Not only that, I have to do family errands outside of the home, potty train my baby girl, and try to write my thesis. I feel like I'm failing as a mom...and my standard of this is my home. My house is never spot clean, I haven't cooked at home for the longest time, and all the tables that are in my house are piled with stuff. It's so easy to be down on my self. I can't do this whole "mom" thing...well at least not with my own strength.
God's grace is super sufficient for me. When I start relying on myself, my strength then that's when everything falls apart. That's when I feel overwhelmed and just want to quit. But God is sovereign, He knows what will make me the happiest in Him, and what will glorify Jesus. It is when I am weak, then that is when I am strong. My happiness does not depend on a clean home or "good and obedient" children. My happiness is in Jesus. I know I can't do this whole "mom" thing...it is too difficult and all my sins just come out. And praise the Lord for the forgiveness of those sins. I am not a perfect parent, and I can never be. But I am a forgiven parent that will always need His grace.
I'm glad through the hard times of parenting God is faithful to show me my sins and to forgive me. I have learned to ask for forgiveness from my children...yes it is very humbling since they are only 4 and 2. But it's soooo rewarding. My children know that I am not except from disobeying God and I too need forgiveness. And by His grace I will be able to serve my family with a joyful heart, not so I can have a clean home and have everything together...but because Jesus is awesome and has given me everything I need for my joy in Him...even with a dirty home.
sneak peak of our Hawaii Trip: