Inadequate

I look around my house and all I see is a mess.  Toys everywhere, dishes is in the sink, clothes in the hamper ready to be folded and put away.  I can stand in the middle of my living room and get so overwhelmed with all the "to do" things that's adding to my list.  Not only that, I have to do family errands outside of the home, potty train my baby girl, and try to write my thesis.  I feel like I'm failing as a mom...and my standard of this is my home.  My house is never spot clean, I haven't cooked at home for the longest time, and all the tables that are in my house are piled with stuff.  It's so easy to be down on my self.  I can't do this whole "mom" thing...well at least not with my own strength.

God's grace is super sufficient for me.  When I start relying on myself, my strength then that's when everything falls apart.  That's when I feel overwhelmed and just want to quit.  But God is sovereign, He knows what will make me the happiest in Him, and what will glorify Jesus.  It is when I am weak, then that is when I am strong.  My happiness does not depend on a clean home or "good and obedient" children.  My happiness is in Jesus.  I know I can't do this whole "mom" thing...it is too difficult and all my sins just come out.  And praise the Lord for the forgiveness of those sins.  I am not a perfect parent, and I can never be.  But I am a forgiven parent that will always need His grace.

I'm glad through the hard times of parenting God is faithful to show me my sins and to forgive me.  I have learned to ask for forgiveness from my children...yes it is very humbling since they are only 4 and 2.  But it's soooo rewarding.  My children know that I am not except from disobeying God and I too need forgiveness.  And by His grace I will be able to serve my family with a joyful heart,  not so I can have a clean home and have everything together...but because Jesus is awesome and has given me everything I need for my joy in Him...even with a dirty home.

sneak peak of our Hawaii Trip: