Friends

One fear I had with moving out here was that my kids wouldn't have friends or they would make bad friends.  I am a bit of a helicopter mom that wants to know what's going on in my kids lives, so I would know their friends too along with their parents (well most of the parents).  When my parents moved us when I was in 6th grade, that was one thing that I struggled with.  Making friends can be difficult and I was fearful for my girls.  Scripture reminded me that "every good and perfect gift comes from above (James 1:17)," and honestly any friendships that we have is a gift from the Lord.  So I knew that the Lord was going to take care of my girls.  That was my plea and prayer for them.  But there was one aspect that I didn't really think about...what about friends for me or Caleb??
Meeting people gives me anxiety already, but meeting people for the purpose of cultivating a friendship is on a different level.  Most of my friends were built from years of spending life together.  My friends have been sharing my life for many years, if that was through hang outs like coffee dates or just doing those mundane everyday errands.  So here I am friendless and starting all over again with "making friends."  I told my girls to just start talking to people and then maybe one day you'll make a friend...and I knew I had to take that advice as well.

God reminded me that He blessed me with awesome friends who are now my family in California so why would He stop blessing me with awesome friends in Washington.  I knew that if I just stayed home and only talked to my family that I would be missing something awesome that He is doing in my life.  I remember when I got hurt from someone at my church all I wanted to do was move to a new church so I didn't have to see that person again.  I wanted to run away and take the easy way.  But then I thought about it, if I run away then I'm going to miss out seeing His hands move through the trial.  I would rob myself from first handedly seeing His grace upon my life as He ministers to my hurt heart and grow me through the fire.  So I stayed and saw His amazing grace and love towards me during that time.

So in a way, I'm in that situation again where I can take the easy way, stay home and not have friends, or see Him move and mold me through the more difficult way.    People think I am an extrovert because I talk to people even if I don't know them, but people usually do not see the inner struggle I have.  I really force myself to go out there, force myself to talk to people, and always argue with myself when I have to meet someone.  Although anxiety sometimes wins and I just stay home, I know I have to get out there and allow the Lord to use those moments to do something great.  So I go knowing that He is working and He is molding me and He will bless those moments.  Not sure how He will bless it or who He will bless me with...but I trust in Him and His wisdom.

So I just wait and see.

Sidenote: Lord thank you for technology that allows me to talk to my friends via texting, facetime, or social media.  It has been so helpful that I can tell my friends back home what I am struggling with and how to pray for us.  Thank you Lord for allowing me to stay connected even though I can't hang out with them in person.