Reality

Dear So. Cal,

Thank you for an awesome 2.5 weeks of warmth and amazing food.  I miss being able to feel the sun heat when I step outside of the house as my body gets some much needed vitamin D.  I miss being able to pick any kind of food and knowing that it isn't far away from me and I know they will be good.  Oh how I gained so much with eating your food.  I miss being able to call someone to hang out and spending time with them laughing and talking and not realizing so many hours went by.  There are so many things you offer me and I truly enjoy.  I miss my CFBC church family and worshipping with them on a Sunday morning.  I miss my family and seeing my girls interact and play with their cousins.  There are so many things I miss about you and so many blessings that are there that I know I'll always have when we come visit...but I don't miss living there.

Visiting there made me realize that there were a lot of things that come with being in So. Cal.  Although the good does outweigh the bad, I think I've come to realize that this moment of my life...I need to not be there.  Many of my insecurities started to resurface, mentalities that I do not like started to invade my mind again, and the struggle of the fear of man was great.  Although I know this new place doesn't immune me from all those, I just don't know why being there exemplified it.  I do not miss the traffic, the crowd, and the mentality of materialism.

God started to show me and remind me how He is answering my specific prayers for my family.  Moving so suddenly overwhelmed me that I didn't see it before, but now I do see it.  I see it clearly and being away isn't hard anymore.  Although I wasn't ready to leave you...I knew that we needed to leave you.  Oh So. Cal you are always in my heart and I will always call you home.  My dearest friends and family are there and I will always try my best to go back...but for now being away is what I need to grow in Christ.  To depend on Him completely and to humbly submit to His calling for my life and my family.  Not sure what His plans are but I'm excited to see how our little family plays a role.  And then one day, maybe, we will live there again.  Until then So. Cal...stay warm so when I need the warmth of the sun I know where to go!!